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Microsoftova logika


               Ovo je logika koju je Microsoft koristio. I sada je koristi. I ocito, jos ce je koristiti.

                     #include
                     #include
                     #include <spijunaza.h> /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */
                     #include  /* Za sudske procese */
                     #define izjavi(x) lazi(x)
                     #define kompjuterski_korisnik SVI_ZELE_NASE_PROIZVODE
                     #define sljedece_godine USKORO
                     #define proizvod_spreman_za_distribuciju JOS_JEDNA_BETA_VERZIJA

                     void main()
                       {
                        if (starost(posljednja_windows_verzija)>mjesec_dana)
                           {
                            if (jos_postoje_bugovi)
                                reklamiraj(ispravljeni_bugovi);
                            if (prodaja_padne_ispod_dopustene)
                                siri(glasine_o_novoj_verziji_bez_bugova);
                           }
                        while(svi_pricaju_o_novoj_verziji)
                           {
                            izjavi_lazno_obecanje(podrzavati_ce_multitasking);
                                              /* Standardno pozivanje iz lazi.h */
                            if (glasine_postaju_vece)
                                izjavi_lazno_obecanje(podrzavati_ce_plug'n'play);
                            if (glasine_postaju_jos_vece)
                               {
                                trzisno_vrijeme=zrelo;
                                izjavi("Bit ce gotovo za mjesec dana");
                                naredi(programeri, prestani_ispravljati_stare_bugove);
                                naredi(marketinski_odjel, dozvola_za_sirenje_gluposti);
                                prazne_rijeci=TRUE;
                                break;
                               }
                           }
                        switch (zlocesta_pitanja_stampe)
                           {
                                case KAD_CE_BITI_GOTOVO:
                                 izjavi("Bit ce gotovo za ", danas+30_dana,", samo testiramo.");
                                 break;
                            case HOCE_LI_RADITI_TAJ_PLUG'N'PLAY:
                                 izjavi("Naravno da ce raditi.");
                                 pitaj(programeri, zasto_ne_radi);
                                 pretvaraj_se(ne_postoji_problem);
                                 break;
                            case KOJI_SU_MINIMALNI_HARDVERSKI_ZAHTJEVI:
                                 izjavi("Savrseno ce raditi na 8086 zbog 32-bitne arhitekture.");
                                 obavijesti(INTEL, "Prodaja Pentiuma 2 ce strasno porasti.");
                                 obavijesti(SAMSUNG, "Pokrenite novu tvornicu memorijskih"
                                            "cipova, jer ce svi trebati 64 mega.");
                                 inform(QUANTUM, "Zahvaljujuci nasem FAT-u,"
                                            "utrostrucit ce se prodaja.");
                                 primi_veliki_bonus(INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM);
                                 break;
                            case IMA_LI_MICROSOFT_PREVISE_UTJECAJA:
                                 izjavi("O ne, mi smo ovdje da svijet ucinimo ljepsim za sve.");
                                 registriraj(novinar, KNJIGA_VELIKOG_BILLA);
                                 when(dode_vrijeme)
                                     {
                                      uhiti(novinar);
                                      isperi_mozak(novinar);
                                      when(novinar_kaze_da_WIN98_nemaju_bugova)
                                          {
                                           naredi(novinar, "napisi lijep objektivan clanak");
                                           pusti(novinar);
                                          }
                                     }
                                 break;
                           }
                        while (prazne_rijeci)
                           {
                            datum_objavljivanja++; /* Odgoda */
                            if (nitko_vise_ne_vjeruje_da_ce_ikada_biti_gotovo)
                                izjavi("Bit ce gotovo za ",danas+JEDAN_MJESEC);
                           }
                        objavi(beta_verziju)
                        while (svi_su_dovoljno_glupi_da_kupuju_nase_proizvode)
                           {
                            billov_racun_u_svicarskoj_banci++;
                            objavi(novu_i_jos_bolju_beta_verziju);
                            predstavi(nove_memorijske_zahtjeve);
                            if (kupci_prijavljuju_probleme_sa_instalacijom)
                                izjavi("Problem je u hardveru, ne u softveru.");
                            if (pametan_kupac_kaze_da_smo_obecali_plug'n'play)
                               {
                                ignoriraj(kupac);
                                naredi(Microsoft_privatna_agencija, "Pripazite na gada.");
                               }
                           }
                        if (billov_racun_u_svicarskoj_banci>ocekivano
                                   && length(brak)>2_godine)
                           {
                            razvedi_se(zena_koja_je_bila_lijepa_kad_sam_je_ozenio);
                            masi(dolarima, mladim_djevojkama);
                            ozeni(mladu_djevicu_plavusu_sa_velikim_sisama);
                            rijesi_se(djevicanstvo, mladu_djevicu_plavusu_sa_velikim_sisama);
                            if (sise_pocinju_visjeti)
                                nogiraj(mladu_djevicu_plavusu_sa_velikim_sisama);
                            }
                        if (postoji_jos_jedna_tvrtka)
                            {
                             ukradi(njihove_ideje);
                             optuzi(tvrtka, krada_nasih_ideja);
                             zaposli(puno_puno_odvjetnika); /* iz proces.h */
                             cekaj(dok_tvrtka_nema_vise_para_za_novu_sudsku_parnicu);
                             kupi(tvrtku);
                            }
                        }

                     /* Sad svi znaju da prodajemo bugovite proizvode i svi su ljuti na nas */
                        naredi(plasticni_kirurg, napravi_billa_da_izgleda_kao_jadnik);
                        kupi(lijepi_mali_otocic);
                        zaposli(harem);
                        smij_se(svima, za_strpljenje_cekajuci_godinama_nedovrsene_verzije);
                      }
                     void ispravljanje_bugova(void)
                      {
                       naplati(puno_novca)
                       if (kupac_ne_zeli_platiti_za_popravak_bugova)
                           izjavi("To nije ispravak, nego nova verzija.");
                       if (jos_se_zali)
                           {
                            ignoriraj(kupac);
                            registriraj(kupac, KNJIGA_VELIKOG_BILLA);
                            /* Docepat cemo ga se kada svi budu koristili Windowse */
                           }
                       }